Current mood:	tired
Current music:	"Show me the Way " Black Tide

Bacon & Bedpans

Hopefully the cut works.. if not, sorry .. My computer is lame

My morning started as normal ..  Got my tea, drove to work blasting metal, the usual !  I got to work and was writing my morning email when I noticed little lines popping up everywhere.  I usually have lines and stars in my eyes, but this was really bad.  The words were all mushed together and I couldn't read. It was like someone had just taken my picture 1000 times. I started hyperventaling and the next thing you knew a black cloud shape formed over my left eye and I completely went completely blind.  I start balling and couldn't catch my breath.  Then my vision came back after about 2 minutes and it was still totally blurry.  Couldn't read.  Even the small words I couldn't breathe.. Then, it happened.. The entire left side of my body went totally numb.  I couldn't see, couldn't breathe so.. I told my Boss that I had to go the ER cause I couldn't see or move.  The medics got to my office and it was so embarrassing.  They asked me to do a bunch of tests that I could barely do.  They asked me what year it was and I told them 1984.  They asked me how to spell my name and I couldn't.  I was put in the ambulance and wisked away.

When I got there I was taken straight to the trama unit.  I had all these people around me..Asking me questions seeing if I could touch my nose.  Then.. my worst nightmare. They told me .. they needed blood.  Now.. when I'm awake I'm 40% ok with blood being drawn.. When I'm out of it though.. Not so much.  I was freaking out .  I just started screaming "Just fucking DO IT !!!" They put an IV in me FOR 6 OF THE WORST HOURS OF MY LIFE.  Every 5 minutes I was asking to have the IV removed.  The broad who did it must of messed up.. cause at one point, I couldn't feel my arm at all.  Anyway.. They asked me all these questions.. They asked me about my love life, home life, friends, work, coworkers.. some of the questions were ridiculous.  They took my temp and blood pressure .. everything was fine.  I sat there talking with the doctor who was asking me everything when this kid (guy around my age) goes "Hey hows it going" and pretty much ripped my gown off me.  Now ... I'm out of it.. so I scream "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY?"  Turns out, it was a nurse who had to get my EKG set up.  They both were laughing at me and I said "Are you laughing cause my boobs are so pale?" to which they replied "No.. we're laughing because you just said that Ronald Reagan is president".  After 3 hours of stupid questions and tests, they brought me to the Cat Scan.  At this point, the feeling in my body and eyesight had returned.  I asked the 18 year old chick who was pushing me down the hall to run.. to which she did.  So if you were in random room and looking out the door.. you would of seen a 25 year old with her legs in the air screaming "weeeeeeeeee".  At this point, I was pretty damned doped up on everything.  The cat scan SUUUUUCCCCCKED!  They had to put "Contrast DYE" in my IV which is mainly something that makes you feel like you're pissing something thats 800 degrees and feels like a pen just exploded in your mouth.  I of course had an allergic reaction to and started throwing up.. After an hour there I was upgraded from Trama to ER (I finally knew what year it was and how to spell my name) also. there with me.. was my mommy :) (Who works upstairs from where I was). 

We then sat for 3 hours before 5 doctors came in and asked me a shit load of questions.. by then, I was ready to go home.. just very very sleepy.  My episode was over.. and no one knew what had caused it yet.  It was now 5PM.. I finally had enough and just yelled "Someone get this IV out of me.. NOW!"  To which a 12 year old nurse came and ripped it out of me.  at around 530 the doctor comes in and gives me the worst news in the world .. " WE NEED TO KEEP YOU OVER NIGHT FOR AN MRI"  I losssst it.  I started sobbing hysterically "I have to work tomrw, I'm fine, I want to go home".  They told me that my EKG was all sorts of messed up, I couldn't walk a straight line still and they think I might have an inbalance in my brain so they wanted to keep me there.. and if I left, it would be going against medical advice and my insurance company wouldn't cover it.  sooo.. they pushed me up to Observatory unit.  They asked me if I was claustrophobic and needed to be doped up.  I told them yes "I'm terrified of closed spaces".. I thought doped up meant pills.. uh no.. it was an Iv.. So when the two ladies came to give me my medicine, I proceeded to say "Theres no way you're hooking that thing up to me.  They told me they didn't need contrast for these pictures"  To which they said "No this is the medicine to help you calm down"  to which I said "Never mind I don't care I'll deal"  to which they said "its too late you have to" to which I said "come near me with that thing and see what happens".  I then apologized and told them I was just really stressed but I just didn't need another hole in my already hurt arm again. :(  They rolled me down to the MRI room where  it was a bunch of 20 year old guys listening to Radiohead.  They made me feel fine about being a cyborg in the machine and I felt very calm.  At one point during 25 minutes of sitting perfectly still I could hear them over the machine saying simpsons quotes and trying to make me laugh. Everyone in the office and around were talking about that france plane crash over the ocean... I always think that THAT is going to be how I go.. When being wheeled back I was thinking about plane crashes when an elderly woman outside of the Psych Ward looked right into my eyes and said "You're going to die".  I was so freaked out by it that I just covered my head as they kept pushing me back.  After all the adventures, I was ready for sleep.. When the woman 2 beds over started screaming "BARBARA.. HELP .. HELLLLLLP.. I'LL SUE YOU.. HELPPP.. PLEASE HELLPP"  I was terrified and the whole night I was on edge like it was going to be "one flew over the coo-coo's nest" and I was going to be sufficated by a pillow.. or worse.. drown in a bed pan !  ew.

The next morning I got some crappy food and was watching animal planet when the doctors came in and told me about my EKG and why I lost my vision and went numb.  I apparently have a very low pulserate and that was the first problem (No shit sherlock I was pretty much a stillborn and my pulserate has always been 40-50.. which contributes to why I am often weak, dizzy and sleepy).. Then my MRI.  Turns out I have a major inbalance with a lack of blood flow to the left side of my brain which can cause me to pass out and lose my vision.  Also, I am prone to dizzy spells, Migraines, and numbness if I do not get enough blood flow to my body.  The main thing I need to do.. is eat healthy, take meds, and get up and walk around every few minutes to keep constant blood flow.. blah blah blah.. Also a few others things.. but that doesn't need to be known by people ..ahaha..

Anyway.  I'm really tired so I'm going back to bed.. but.. Thats my story.. I took some pics with my shit reception camera phone.. I'll post em up eventually.